A Guardian's Heart  

by MorganD



"So the next time he slept over, I made him dress it," Touya grinned in remembrance. "I had to see him in that thing."

"He loved it," Yue grunted.

"I know. Those pajamas seem to have been made for him. But still..." The boy frowned. "It was all wrong. It was very, very wrong, and I had no idea why. Not until I saw you."

The Guardian glanced at him by the corner of the eye.

"Only then I realized... I was looking at Yuki and seeing you. Sensing you. And no one in his right mind would ever dress you in bunny pajamas, Yue."

The tone, so soft and warm, with a tinge of amusement... so familiar. 

"You did."

"I had to prove my point," Touya argued. "I look at him and you, and I see one person alone. One person with a half-time amnesia, but only one. Now I understand why you call Yuki your false form. He's very true and real. The false thing about him is the impression that he's not you, but only a mask. In the end, you are the mask. He's your true heart, in a false form. It's absolutely puzzling, I could never think of a better disguise."

Yue was dizzy. "What?"

"I'm guessing, remember? All clues you gave me tell me that you and Yuki are the same. Although that doesn't explain why he acts so weird sometimes."The Moon Guardian tried to digest that. He was the non-human with strange powers, giant wings and feline eyes, and Touya thought Yukito was the weird one?!

"Are you at least telling me my score in the game?" Touya nudged him.

This conversation was giving Yue a headache. Yukito, his true heart? Of all weird concepts...












"I know. You enjoy dreaming of Yuki." Touya saw a protest forming in the Guardian's lips and cut him off. "How much of your time do you spend as him? You don't come out that often, do you? Not if Sakura doesn't need you. Yuki doesn't really know what anguish and pain means. Without your memories he has very little life experience, and what he told me about his grandparents and his childhood is so peaceful and sappy. He has no idea of how it feels to lose someone you love." Remembering that his hand was still on Yue's, he intertwined his fingers with the angel's. "You traded your memories for pleasant dreams. I can't really blame you for that."



"It has nothing to do with magic," Touya soothed him, afraid that he had clumsily scared his silver bird away already. "I can see you because... you and I are very much alike."

"You mean you and Yukito," Yue replied defensively.

Touya's brows knitted together. "Everyone says Yuki and I have nothing in common but soccer. I knew they're wrong, but honestly I couldn't tell why. Not until I saw you for the first time." That had presented a delicious enigma for Touya. He knew Yuki like the palm of his hand, but with all sincerity,didn't understand him. The kind gray-haired boy carried his heart exposed in his face, hardly bothering to hide his feelings from anyone... only it was impossible to make any sense of them. In other words, Touya could easily say what Yuki's reactions would be at any time, but those were not what Touya thought they should be.  

Conversely, Yue emanated a thick aura of mystery, mysticism, dubious intentions and past passions, bewitching the very few privileged witnesses of his manifestations on this world with the unbearable beauty and aloofness of the moon. 

Touya approached the Guardian with frightened steps, half-expecting to be swallowed at any minute by the bottomless depths of the night dark the angel drifted over... but the fearful silence of that foggy dimension felt stunningly familiar. Understanding Yue was just as easy -- or just as hard -- as understanding himself.

"You," Touya murmured fondly. "What Yuki and I have in common is you."

Another utter absurdity... which reached Yue's ears as an ancient song he seemed to know by heart. A Moon song. A Moon truth. "Open your eyes," it chanted secretly. "See him."







Obeying the silent chant in his soul, he took To-ya's hand to his lips and kissed the warm, tender fingers. Too late to be scared. Certain calls simply couldn't be ignored.Touya's heart throbbed in his chest. The image of an old photo popped up in his mind... a shy deer eating trustingly from Kinomoto Nadeshiko's hand...His frightened bird wasn't flying away. Touya couldn't tell if all misunderstandings had been finally cleared up, but in his vacillating blabbering Yue had found a reason to stay. "Beautiful," he breathed.

Yue gazed up at him, for a moment looking just as clueless as Yuki would have been in his place.

"You, silly angel," Touya clarified.

"I'm not an angel," Yue corrected him.

Heresy... "Will you admit that you're beautiful and silly then?"

A second too late Touya realized that he was being scaringly clever again. But Yue's reaction this time was the last he -- or anyone who knew Yue, for that matter -- would have expected. "Oops," whispered the Moon Guardian with the cutest smile ever.

Yue was right, he was no angel. An angel wouldn't be so devilish to dare putting Kinomoto Touya in "hanyaan" mode. The dark-haired boy had to summon all his strength and sense of ridiculous to preserve his composure and keep himself from blurting out the embarrassing interjection.







Yue's shoulders dropped. "One of the purposes of Clow's spell is to protect Yukito," he said defensively. "That's why I don't wish to break it. All I want is to spare him from the burden of my memories."

Touya's amusement was unmistakable. "You mean, YOU want to protect YOURSELF from your OWN memories."

Yue looked away, embarrassed. "It's a way to put it." Just not his favorite one.

"I don't kiss that bad, you know," the human boy chuckled. "I don't think it would be such a burden on your memory."

"To-ya?" The blush on the angel's cheeks clashed beautifully with his pale skin.

"Can you promise me this?" Touya asked softly, taking that burning face between his hands. "That when Yuki wakes up, he'll remember I kissed him on the top of the chapel tower?"

Vertigo. For a moment Yue felt so dazed and frightened that he couldn't even tell up from down, and his fingers instinctively flew to grasp the hem of To-ya's shirt. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. He hadn't heard well, To-ya wasn't going to... he couldn't possibly be intending to...

But then why was To-ya holding his face with such care and... expectation?

He was going to... he was. All Yue had to do was to promise...

The Moon Guardian closed his eyes in terror.Promise to share that moment with Tsukishiro Yukito.And that irremediably meant starting to break Clow's spell. Raising the curtain between the two personas, downing the shields. Letting his false form pry into his true heart... or letting the true heart pry into the mask's thoughts? Which alternative was more disturbing?











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